Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
