I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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