Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
