This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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