I molested 6 butterflies tonight
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?