Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
