I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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