Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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