I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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