Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
