She said her name was "party"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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