Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
