She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
