If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
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Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
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I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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