No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
