Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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