Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
