He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize