He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize