at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize