Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she told me i tasted like america
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
