Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize