You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I need a burrito and a hug.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
