This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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