Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
