She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
