So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
