You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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