You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
