Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I could make wine with my vomit
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
