He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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