I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
