so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
