She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
PANTIES FOUND
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