Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
