i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
So many bounce houses so little time
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
