I didn't shave. On purpose
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Rumble strips road head = magical
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
