Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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