and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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