Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
