I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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