well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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