I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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