At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
