Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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