you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
