walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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