no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
