We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
