I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
