What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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