i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
