I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
