I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sponge bath it is.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
