worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
