Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
