Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
