I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
