she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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