Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
