omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
