Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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