I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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